Friday, November 18, 2011

Friday Funnies: Thanksgiving

Since the big turkey day is coming up soon, here are a few humorous tidbits to get you into the holiday mood as you begin to prepare for next week.

Thanksgiving Humor from Famous Comedians

"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
-Jon Stewart

"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."
-Phyllis Diller

"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often."
-Johnny Carson

"Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants."
-Kevin James

"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."
-Erma Bombeck

"Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car."
-Stephen Colbert

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And some Thanksgiving riddles...

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him

What did the little turkey say to the big turkey?
Peck on someone your own size!

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes. A building can't jump at al.

What sound does a turkey's phone make?
Wing! Wing!

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If you're hosting Thanksgiving for the first (or eighteenth) time and have a question about how to prepare the bird, here's a link to the Butterball® Turkey Talk-Line.

The Turkey Talk-Line has been in operation for 29 years. Nowadays, it employs more than 50 home economists and nutritionists, who respond to more than 100,000 questions each November and December. We're not affiliated in any way, but I thought you might find this interesting. I sure did!


Dee in N.H. said...

How fun!! Thanks!

Chelsea said...

Thanks for the laughs! It was good seeing you yesterday!