Friday, December 2, 2011

Friday Funnies: 12 Days of Christmas

As you may know, every year during the first 12 days of December, Tim Holtz creates a special tag for each day to celebrate the season. One of my tasks is to update the Stampers Anonymous website with links to the stamps and supplies he uses:


Of course, I couldn't help but start singing the popular tune in my head as I was typing away. There are several parodies of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" on the internet, but my favorite is the real thing sung by a little boy and his brother (well, sorta).

I don't know this kid personally, but he sure is cute. And if you happen to have the same attention span as his sibling (or are in a hurry when you watch this), you can skip to the 5:15 mark for the complete version:


And here's a funny collection of letters reminding us to choose our gifts wisely:

December 14, 2003

Dearest Dave,

I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised or pleased, darling!

With truly the deepest love,
Agnes

December 15, 2003

Dearest Dave,

Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtle doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted by your thoughtful and generous ways.

With all of my love,
Your Agnes

December 16, 2003

Dearest Dave,

You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised--what more should I expect from such a nice person?

Love,
Agnes

December 17, 2003

Dear Dave,

Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are very nice, but don't you think that enough is enough? You are being too romantic.

Affectionately,
Agnes

December 18, 2003

Dearest darling Dave,

It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. You truly are impossible, darling, yet oh how I love it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the previous days were starting to get on my nerves. However, you managed to come through with a beautiful and valuable gift!

All my love,
Agnes

December 19, 2003

Dear Dave,

When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop, dear.

Cordially,
Agnes

December 20, 2003

Dave,

What is with you and those stupid birds? Seven swans a-swimming! What kind of sick joke is this?! There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep. I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny, you weirdo, so stop with the birds.

Sincerely,
Agnes

December 21, 2003

O.K. wise guy,

The birds were bad enough. Now what do you expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows! The front lawn was completely ruined by them, and I can't move in my own house! Just lay off with the deliveries, or you'll be sorry!

Agnes

December 22, 2003

Hey loser,

You must be some kind of sadist! Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play. They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are signing a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!

You'll get yours!
Agnes

December 23, 2003

You rotten scum!!!

There are now ten ladies dancing! They're dancing twenty-four hours a day all around me, with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are going to the bathroom everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason. You creep! I'm sending the police out for you!

From one who means it!

December 24, 2003

Listen, you evil, sadistic maniac!

What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death by the cows. I hope you are satisfied, you rotten, vicious, worthless piece of garbage!

Your sworn enemy,
Agnes

December 25, 2003

The Law Offices of
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
20 Knave Street
Chicago, Illinois

Dear Sir,

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling, which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Agnes McHolstein. The destruction of course was total. If you attempt to reach Ms. McHolstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on site.

Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially,
Badger, Rees, and Yorker

3 comments:

Dee in N.H. said...

ROTFL! Those kids are adorable and the letters had me laughing!

chrisd said...

Thanks for the chuckles Jackie!

Jackie Wamhoff said...

Glad to bring a smile to your faces, Dee and Chris. :-) Thanks for reading!