Friday, September 7, 2012

Friday Funnies: Back To School


School Learning
Nathan comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"
He replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."


New Teacher?
Mia: I think we need a new teacher.
Mom: Why is that?
Mia: Our teacher doesn't know anything. She keeps asking us for the answers.


Time For Fun
The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months."
Then she asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?"
Little Johnny raised his hand and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend."
 

The Next Generation
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

SYLVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.

MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.

TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!


Teachers vs. Educators
According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria, BC, recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12th grade girls were using lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror and leave dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the custodian would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian.

She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian, who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers, and then there are educators...

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Many thanks to all the wonderful educators out there. You are appreciated!

1 comment:

Sue D said...

Perfect for back to school and that last one about the lipstick was hilarious!