Friday, September 21, 2012

Friday Funnies: Police Jokes

Last night, I drove past two different cars being pulled over by the police. I don't know if you've ever been stopped for speeding, but it happened to me years ago and I was really embarrassed. I didn't make any jokes at the time, of course. However, I couldn't resist sharing a few today:

“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled the motorist as the police officer handed him a receipt for his traffic violation.

“Keep it,” the officer advised. “When you get four of them, you get a bicycle.”


A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are those machetes doing in your car?" asks the cop.

"I juggle with them in my act."

"Oh, yeah?" says the doubtful cop. "Let me see you do it.”

The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives. Another man driving by slows down to watch.

"Wow," says the passerby. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!"


A man was pulled over for speeding down the highway. The officer came to the driver’s window and said, "Sir, may I see your driver’s license and registration?"

The man said, "Well, officer I don't have a license; it was taken away for a DUI."

The officer said, "Do you have a registration for the vehicle?"

The man replied, "No sir, the car is not mine. I stole it, but I am pretty sure I saw a registration card in the glove box when I put the gun in it."

The officer asked, "There is a gun in the glove box?!"

The man sighed and said, "Yes, sir, I used it to kill the woman who owns the car before I stuffed her in the trunk."

The officer stepped toward the back of the car and said, "Sir, do not move. I am calling for backup."

The officer called for backup and about ten minutes later, another highway patrolman arrived. He walked up to the window slowly and asked the man for his driver’s license and registration.

The man said, "Yes, officer, here they are."

Everything checked out okay, so the officer said,"Is there a gun in the glove box, sir?"

The man laughed and said, "No, officer, why would there be a gun in the glove box?" He opened the glove box and showed him that there was no gun.

Then the second officer asked him to open the trunk so he could see if there was a body inside. The man agreed and opened the trunk, which was empty.

The second officer said, "Sir, I do not understand. The officer that pulled you over said that you did not have a license, the car was stolen, there was a gun in the glove box, and you had a dead body in the trunk."

The man looked the officer in the eyes and said, "Yeah, and I'll bet he said I was speeding, too."


Have a happy and safe weekend, Inky friends!

4 comments:

G S P Crafts said...

Love the jokes.

Sue D said...

Love that last one!!

Linda R. said...

Hee Hee!

Cathy Kennedy said...

These are great! I just love to laugh, especially at the start of a new morning.

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