A passerby watched two Irishmen in a park. One was digging holes and the other was immediately filling them in again. "Tell me," said the passerby, "What on earth are you doing?"
"Well," said the digger, "Usually there are three of us. I dig, Fergal plants the tree, and Sean fills in the hole. Today Fergal is away unwell, but that doesn't mean Sean and I have to take the day off, does it?"
Father O'Connor walks into a pub and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want go to heaven?'
The man replies, "Yes, Father."
Father O'Connor then says, "Leave this bar right now, and go outside."
O'Connor proceeds to another man, and asks him the same thing. The chap also answers, "Yes." Father O'Connor asks him to go out, too.
he Reverend Father goes the third man and asks, "Would you like to go to heaven?"
This time the reply is, "No, thank you, Father."
Surprised, Father O'Connor asks, "Why not?"
The man admits, "I mean I do, but only after I die."
Father O'Connor explains, "That's what I am talking about."
The man says, "Oh, I thought you were getting a group ready right now."