Friday, November 22, 2013

Friday Funnies: Merry Cranberry

 

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.

Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
The turkey...because he's already stuffed!


Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," a student wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."


A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner, and there were never enough legs for everyone.

After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get-together. "Well, I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"

They all asked the farmer how it tasted. "I don't know," said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"


'Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
but I just couldn't sleep...
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned...
the dark meat and white,
but I fought the temptation
with all of my might.

Tossing and turning with anticipation,
the thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
stuffing with gravy, green beans and tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees.
Happy eating to all...pass the cranberries, please!

3 comments:

Jennifer Scull said...

thanks for the holiday chuckles! hope you have a great weekend getting ready for the big day! :)

I am thankful for great crafty friends like you!!!

Sue D said...

Can't wait til next Thursday--thanks for the laughs.

Linda R. said...

Thanks for the smiles.