Friday, February 7, 2014

Friday Funnies: Phil's Prediction

You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.
-Phil Connors

Well, Inky friends, apparently spring won't be coming anytime soon. At least, that's what we hear from our furry pal Phil.
I sure hope he's wrong...but, either way, let's have a few groundhog-related laughs!
St. Peter's Question
Three blondes died in an accident trying to skydive over the Grand Canyon. They are now at the pearly gates of Heaven, and St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is "What is Easter?"
The first blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when we all get together, eat turkey, and are thankful."
"Wrong! You are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to the other place," replies St. Peter. Then he turns to the second blonde, and asks her the same question. "What is Easter?"
The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."
St. Peter looks at the second blonde, bangs his head on the pearly gates in disgust, and tells her she's wrong and will have to join her friend in the other place; she is not welcome in Heaven. He then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "Do you know what Easter is?"
The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes. "I know what Easter is," she states.
"Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously.
She continues, "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave, which was sealed off by a large boulder."
St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. Then the third blonde continues: "Every year, the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out. If he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter!"

Q: What would you get if you crossed Groundhog Day with a puppy?
A: Ground-dog Day!

Q: What would you get if you crossed Groundhog Day with a Christmas drink?
A: Ground Nog Day!

Q: Why was the groundhog depressed about his den?
A: He was having a bad lair day!

Q: Where do sick groundhogs go?
A: To the hogpital

Q: What do you call a groundhog that is adopted from the Humane Society?
A: A poundhog

Q: What do you call a groundhog who eats too much?
A: A roundhog

Q: What do you call a royal groundhog?
  A: A crowned hog


Linda R. said...

Ha! Loved the "Easter" joke!

Sue D said...

Full of Chuckles!