Friday, May 16, 2014
Friday Funnies: Awesome Dogs
After last week's focus on cats, today we're concentrating on canines. Some of them are truly amazing:
While others are indescribably cute:
However they come, we think they're dog-gone great! Here are a few jokes for you, Inky friends:
A Dog Goes to the Movies
A woman entered a movie theater and, after carefully choosing an aisle seat about halfway toward the front, she looked over to her right and was surprised to see a man sitting a few seats down with a large dog on the seat next to him.
From time to time throughout the movie, the woman glanced over and saw that the dog was watching the movie very intently. The dog even appeared to understand what was going on, growling when the villain appeared and yelping happily at the funny moments.
When the lights came up at the end of the movie, the woman leaned toward the man and said, “I’ve been watching your dog and, I have to say, I just can’t believe how much he enjoyed the movie.”
“I know, it surprises me, too,” the man answered. “He absolutely hated the book.”
A local business needed to hire a new employee. The manager put a sign in the window that said:
Must be able to type,
must be proficient in Microsoft Excel,
and must be bilingual.
We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.
Later that day, a dog was walking past the window, saw the sign, and went inside. He looked at the receptionist to get her attention, then walked over to the sign, looking at the sign and wagging his tail. The receptionist nodded and went to get the manager.
When the manager came out of his office, he told the dog they were looking to hire a human…but the dog didn’t budge.
“Okay,” the manager said, “Come on into my office.”
In the office, the dog jumped up on a chair and stared at the manager.
“Listen,” the manager said, feeling a little silly for talking to a dog, “I can’t hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type.”
The dog jumped down, trotted over to the computer, typed out a perfect letter, and went back to his chair. The manager looked at the computer screen and was impressed.
“Still,” he said to the dog, “I can’t hire you. Like the sign said, you have to be proficient in Microsoft Excel because of all the work we do with spreadsheets.”
The dog jumped down again, went back over to the computer, opened an Excel document, and typed in several entries.
“Well, clearly you’re very intelligent,” the manager said. “But I still can’t give you the job.”
The dog jumped down and went to over to the help wanted sign, tapping his paw on the phrase “Equal Opportunity Employer.”
“Okay,” the manager said, “But you can see that the sign also says you have to be bilingual.”
The dog looked the manager in the eye and said, “Meow.”