Friday, August 29, 2014

Friday Funnies: School Time


Yep, it's that time of year again already, where kids have either just returned to school or will be starting next Tuesday.

If you're a parent, have you already gotten everything on the school supply list? Hopefully, it didn't include an item from this sale:


Q: Why did the boy eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Missing Homework

“Johnny, where’s your homework?” Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy, while holding out her hand.

“My dog ate it,” was his solemn response.

“Johnny, I’ve been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?”

“It’s true, Miss Martin, I swear it is,” insisted Johnny. “I had to smear it with honey, but I finally got him to eat it.”


Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Jane: "HIJKLMNO"!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Jane: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

Teacher: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
Sammy: You can't fool me, Teacher...snakes don't have feet.


Better Grades

The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking."

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

"Try It Different" Tuesday: Beautiful Backgrounds, Part 1

If you like butterflies, this week's card on the main Inky site will flutter its way into your heart:


It was created by Inky artist Nancy Baier using CLB-002 Butterfly Background Cling Mount Stamp, which is part of her new Beautiful Backgrounds collection:

 
This cling mounted background stamp (along with the five other background stamps from this collection) measures 5 1/2" x 5 1/2", so that you can stamp it vertically OR horizontally onto a card.
 
Normally it can be a bit difficult to work with such a big stamp, but we've got an extra large rocker-style stamp mount (XLORSM) from our sister company Art Gone Wild, which makes it easy to get a crisp, clear impression with little pressure needed:
 
 
Like the butterfly card above, you can ink these background stamps in black and color in the design using your favorite media, such as colored pencils and Gamsol, as shown in this one made with CLB-005 Tropical Background Cling Mount Stamp:
 

One of my favorite things about these background stamps is their versatility. As you've already seen, you can use the whole background (tropical card) or cut the image into sections and use the elements separately (butterfly card).

Nancy explains, "Unlike a lot of background stamps that are simply a pattern, these are standalone images unto themselves. So you can easily use them as a background because their size will fill your card base area, or use them as a main image for your project."

Although it may be tempting to always color the entire image, you might enjoy experimenting with a few other looks. For example, portions of the image can be featured by stamping the entire image in black but only coloring in certain elements (as shown with CLB-005 Woodland Background):


"I love this spotlighting technique," Nancy continues. "[The flowers and pinecone] were emphasized by coloring with alcohol markers. A little sponging around the edges enhances the effect."

In this next version, the bird from CLB-001 Bird Background was stamped again separately, cut out, and popped up with foam tape for dimension:
 

He's perched above a coordinating floral piece, which was stamped with the daisies from CLB-005 Sm. Blooms & Butterflies Strips Cling Mount Set:


There are three other "strip" style cling mount sets available. Each strip measures about 1 1/4" x 5 1/2", to give you a range of design options!

Here's that Woodland Background again, this time stamped in black and left uncolored, to serve as "a background in the truest sense of the word," says Nancy, "creating a great landscape for other stamps and sentiments":


The vertical piece was made with CLB-005 Flowers & Flourishes Strips Cling Mount Set. It's also stamped in black, except the "negative space" has been colored to match the matting on the sentiment.

Today's final card was heat embossed with clear powder after stamping CLB-003 Leaves Background Cling Mount Stamp in black, and then the entire panel was colored using a blending tool and Tim Holtz Distress Inks in Crushed Olive, Mustard Seed, Peeled Paint, Scattered Straw, and Shabby Shutters:


The yellow design behind the sentiment is from CLS-003 Lots of Leaves Strips Cling Mount Set, and I think it makes such a lovely base for the sentiment. All saying stamps shown on these cards are available in 11253MC Script Sentiments #1 and 11254MC Script Sentiments #2 Clear Stamp Sets.

Stay tuned for even more ideas using the Beautiful Backgrounds collection. Part 2 will be coming your way next Tuesday!

Friday, August 22, 2014

Friday Funnies: Tooth Fairy

Today is National Tooth Fairy Day, although I'm sure if you have children, you'll end up "celebrating" any time during the year when the situation warrants it!
 
This little kid decided a note should be left with his tooth, to explain the difficulties that had to be endured to acquire said tooth:


Poor Cam decided to let the tooth fairy know why he was unable to leave his missing molar under the pillow:



Sometimes the correspondence goes in the other direction, from the tooth fairy to the (eventual) recipient of the prize. Click on the letter below to see a close-up version telling Eli why it took a few days for him to get a response:


Occasionally, we've even heard that teeth cannot be redeemed for various reasons, in which case a form letter is left in place of money:

Dear _________________ :

Thank you for leaving one [1] tooth under your pillow last night. While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children’s teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below:

( ) the tooth could not be found
( ) it was not a human tooth
( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny
( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you
( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails
( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for appropriate action
( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth fairy
( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received
( ) the tooth is still in your mouth
( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of our visit
( ) no night light was on at the time of our visit
( ) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or were missing
( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
          [ ] string [ ] pliers [ ] hammer marks [ ] chisel [ ] no dental care
( ) other:

Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future.

Sincerely,
The Tooth Fairy

* * *

Finally, this letter from the tooth fairy is my personal favorite (again, please click on it for an enlarged view):


Hope you have a "fairy" nice day, Inky friends!

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

"Try It Different" Tuesday: Hot Air Balloon Pals

I'm so excited to show you this week's card, created by our friend Debbie Fisher:


It features 11255MC Balloon Kitties Clear Set, which is part of the Furry Friends collection from NEW Inky artist Maria Woods:


We're so excited to have Maria join our Inky family! Her critters are just adorable, and I look forward to showing you more samples using her charming stamp designs in the upcoming weeks.

For now, let's focus on those cute Hot Air Balloon Pals (7005J in wood mounted), though. Here's a different card, made by talented Michelle Pearson:


As you can see, Michelle filled in the hot air balloon with hand-drawn Zentangle-style designs in various colors. What a neat idea, huh? If you click on the photo above, you can check out her fun details!

Sometimes you can use just part of a stamp to get a different effect. Debbie's sample below shows the partial image, sans balloon, decorating a treat box made using V1-1223 Rectangle Box Template:


And just for a little more inspiration, she also stamped this sweet card using the balloon kitties image from the same set:


Which of the stamp sets from the Furry Friends collection is paw-sitively YOUR favorite, Inky friends?

Friday, August 15, 2014

Friday Funnies: Auto-Corrected Parents & Friends

Karen's story about her husband's text message that was written via voice recognition software gone awry reminded me of a few auto-correct funnies.

Sometimes parents may seem a little behind the times to the younger generation, but they can still learn to adapt to modern technology...albeit perhaps with humorous results, like this mother:


Here's a father who apparently isn't fazed by technology, but his sense of humor is definitely old-school and groan-worthy:


This exchange is one of my very all-time favorites. It cracks me up every single time I read it:


Of course, auto-correct silliness isn't limited to just family members. Friends can be victims, too:


Hope Dad makes a nice profit on his transaction:


Better to sell one's own organ than one's own grandparent, though:


Have YOU ever made any auto-correct gaffes, Inky friends?

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Audience Participation Congrats

Congrats to Mary-Anne V, whose name was drawn randomly from these blog candy entries.

Mary-Anne V said...
My kids always make me laugh. When my daughter was 3 I overheard a conversation she was having with her older brother. She calls her older brother chetta as a sign of respect. "Chetta, Mamma calls me Holy Cow when I get hurt." Then she said to me "Mamma, why do you call me Holy Cow?" Then when my eldest was 3 also his uncle asked him what his dad did and he said "Dada goes to the office." Then he was asked what does I did and he said "Mamma works for me and Natalie!" (because I'm a stay at home mom. Hope that brought a chuckle!
August 11, 2014 at 5:08 PM   

I also mentioned that we'd send a goodie to my personal favorite entry, which was really difficult to choose because they ALL made me laugh. After much consideration, I also want to say congrats to Karen.

Karen said...
My husband has started using the "voice recognition" app for texting. He was at the Doctor's office, and I received this text: The Dr is checking my articles. Articles? I texted back. Arteries! he responded.
August 11, 2014 at 6:07 AM
Delete
(Mary-Anne V and Karen, please email me with your address by August 31st to claim your secret prizes.)

Thanks to each and every one of you who took the time to share your funny stories and jokes. You ladies are a hoot, and it's always such a pleasure reading your comments!

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

"Try It Different" Tuesday: Rectangle Box Template Variations

Last week, we posted variations of projects that Debbie Fisher made with the 10189X Tall Bag Template stamp. This week, she's come up with some fun twists using a different stamp from the Gifts In A Snap Collection, namely the V1-1223 Rectangle Box Template:


You may have seen examples of the standard assembly, as printed on the front of the wood mount and shown here (filled with cocoa), here (filled with a gift card), here (filled with candy), and here (filled with a sweet snack mix). They all include the front "cover" flap, as well as the peekaboo window option on the inside, which lets you view the contents of the box.

But if you're feeling a little more mysterious...or just want to try something simpler and/or a bit faster, you can skip the flap and window completely, and make only the box itself:


The sentiment is from 11045MC Sundae Birdy Clear Set and perfectly complements the patterned cardstock.

You'll also want to fill this one up with goodies, of course:


There are all sorts of other treats that can fit inside, such as packs of gum, lip balm, jewelry, throat drops (for a get well box), and my personal favorite...lots of cash, ha ha! (But, seriously, it really is a fun and unique way to present money or gift cards, beyond just using a standard greeting card.)

If you've already starting planning for the holidays, I'm in awe of you here's a cute Christmas variation (with stamps from 11136MC Rejoicing Angels Clear Set, drawn by artist Tammy DeYoung):


And, finally, Debbie developed these charming apple boxes, which utilize the template stamp instead of wood:


"I used to do lots of wood working," recalls Debbie, "and this is where I got my inspiration." She filled the boxes with dried beans to make them heavy before gluing them shut and decorating with the apple image from 11229MC Sentimental Fruit Clear Set (drawn by artist Trudy Sjolander).

If you click on the above image, you can get a better view of Debbie's coloring (the "skins" of the paper-pieced apples were covered with a darker shade of pencils to add depth) and sponging (to add definition and give the boxes a vintage look).

What else can YOU think to put inside these boxes, Inky friends?

Friday, August 8, 2014

Friday Funnies: Audience Participation

Due to an unexpected turn of events, today's post was written using a computer tablet instead of my trusty PC, which is limiting the length and scope of my content.

Because of this, I'm going to try something different: Let's open up the sharing of jokes and funny stories to YOU, our Inky blogger friends! Just tell us your best giggle-inducing bits of humor...whatever you like (PG- or G-rated, of course) and as long or short of an entry as you wish.

Post them in the comments section below, and you'll be entered in our BLOG CANDY drawing to win. We're going to keep this open a bit longer than usual, and accept contributions through Wednesday, August 13th. 

On Thursday, August 14th, I'll randomly choose the winner for a secret prize and post the lucky person's name here on the blog. I will also choose my personal favorite entry, and that person will win a prize, as well. So please take a moment to participate right now, and then be sure to check back next Friday to see if you've won!

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

"Try It Different" Tuesday: Tall Bag Template Variations

Hey, Inky friends, are you interested in seeing a few new ideas using this stamp from our Gifts In A Snap collection:


If so, we've got this one in the bag! The 10189X Tall Bag Template, I mean. Talented Inky designer Debbie Fisher made some adorable projects with neat variations that I'm excited to show you today.

You're probably already familiar with the original way to assemble this bag, shown here with a sentiment from 11083MC Pampered Benton Clear Set and a cheerful checkered ribbon bow:


Instead of tucking in the clasp, you can place a hook-and-loop closure or magnetic snaps beneath the tab, and cover the front with a button or other cute embellishment:


Did you notice how the cut-out Banner Angel image (0491J in wood mounted, or part of 11136MC Rejoicing Angels Clear Set) extends slightly past the sides of the bag? You're not just limited to images that fit perfectly onto the box!

If you wish, you can cut off the handles completely, as in this project:


"[This open design] reminds me of a popcorn box," says Debbie, "so I thought it would be fun to put in some popcorn seasoning as a gift [inside]."

And how perfect is that Shaker Chef image (1638G in wood, 10961LC in clear) to decorate the front?

You can also choose to cut around only the top part of the handles, scoring and folding the two flaps to make a covered-style bag:


Debbie selected the Pastry Chef (2233G in wood, 10957LC in clear) to stamp on the front of this one, and she suggested filling the bag with small bottles or vials of colored sprinkles. (Or use 0045J Cookie Turtle instead, and put little cookies inside.)
 
Which bag do YOU like best? We hope you're inspired to give one of these a try! 

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Coloring an Underwater Scene

A couple of weeks ago, Michelle Pearson made some adorable cards using our new 11252MC Fishy Friends Clear Set (drawn by artist Tammy DeYoung):


Recently, our sweet stamping friend Sue D emailed to tell me that she'd just seen a blog post about how to make this card:


It was created by a talented lady named Sandy Allnock, whose video tutorial explains how to color an underwater scene using these same fishy stamps.

Sandy graciously allowed me to cross-post her cute project, along with the link so you can watch it for yourself. Not only is it educational and fun (with entertaining little notes along the way), but she filmed as she was working at the beach...so you get the added benefit of a mini-vacation as you watch. ;-) Happy viewing!

Friday, August 1, 2014

Friday Funnies: Man's (and Babies') Best Friend

Are you in the mood for something super cute, Inky friends? I ran across this video, which is definitely aww-inspiring:


Of course, it made me want to share a few dog jokes with you:

The Vet Bill

A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away."

"What?!" demanded the man. "How can you tell? You haven't even done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!"

With that, the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. The retriever went right to work, thoroughly checking over the poor dead dog. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the retriever sadly shook his head and said, "Woof."

The veterinarian then took the Labrador Retriever out of the room and returned in a few moments with a cat, who also hovered over the dog on the table. As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, "Meow." He then jumped off the table and ran out of the room.

The veterinarian handed the man a bill for $600. The dog's owner went postal. "Six hundred dollars! Just to tell me my dog is dead? This is outrageous!"

The vet shook his head sadly and explained, "If you had taken my word for it, the bill would have been only $50, but with the Lab work and the Cat scan, it's much higher."

* * *

Yep, dogs (and cats) can do some pretty amazing things, like this pup:


Talking Dog

A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says, "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all, they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.

"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired," concludes the dog.

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because the dog's a damn liar. He never did any of that stuff."

* * *

Have you ever heard a dog talk in real life? Mishka is pretty amazing. In fact, she's been on the Today Show and has her own YouTube channel. Check this out:



No Dogs Allowed

A man walks into a bar with a small dog under his arm and sits down at the counter, placing the dog on the stool next to him. The bartender says, "Sorry, pal. No dogs allowed."

The man says, "But this is a special dog--he talks!"

"Yeah, right," says the bartender. "Now get out of here before I throw you out."

"No, wait," says the man. "I'll prove it." He turns to the dog and asks, "What do you normally find on top of a house?"

"Roof!" says the dog, wagging his tail.

"Listen, pal..." says the bartender.

"Wait," says the man, "I'll ask another question." He turns to the dog again and asks, "What's the opposite of soft?"

"Ruff!" exclaims the dog.

"Quit wasting my time and get out of here," says the bartender.

"One more chance," pleads the man. Turning to the dog again, he asks, "Who was the greatest baseball player that ever lived?"

"Ruth!" barked the dog.

"Okay, that's it!" says the bartender, and he physically throws both man and dog out the door and onto the street.

Turning to the man, the dogs shrugs and says, "Maybe I should have said Joe DiMaggio instead?"